(IV) The fable of escape: The kitten's trick to escape from the shadow
"Shadows are so annoying!" Kitten Tom and Toby thought so, "We must get rid of it."
However, no matter where they go, Tom and Toby find that whenever the sun appears, they will see the shadow of themselves that drives them crazy.
However, Tom and Toby finally found their own solutions. Tom's method is to keep his eyes closed forever. Toby's method is to stay in the shadow of other things forever.
Psychological comments
This fable shows how a small psychological problem becomes a bigger psychological problem.
It can be said that all psychological problems arise from distortion of facts. What facts? The main ones are those negative events that make us suffer.
Because of the painful experience, we are unwilling to face this negative event. However, once such negative events are destined to accompany us throughout our lives. At most, what we can do is to suppress them into the subconscious mind. This is called forgetting.
However, they will still function as they always do in the subconscious. And, no matter how much we forget the facts, the pain that accompanies these facts will still attack us, making us inexplicably sad and irresistible. This pain makes us work harder to escape.
In the end, the usual solution is these two: either, like Tom, we completely distort our experience and turn a blind eye to all the important negative facts in life; or, like Toby, we simply surrender to pain and make everything about ourselves very bad. Since everything is so bad, the original event that makes us sad is not so painful.
Li Ling, a consultant at Baiyun Psychological Hospital, said that 99% of drug users have had painful experiences. The reason they take drugs is to let themselves escape these pains. It's like hiding in the shadows. The painful fact is a devil. In order to avoid this devil, he simply sells himself to a bigger devil.
There are also many alcoholic adults. They have had a drunk and tyrannical father who has suffered a lot of torture from his father. In order to forget this pain, they learned the same method.
In addition to these visible and wrong methods, we humans have also invented countless ways to escape pain, which Freud calls psychological defense mechanisms. These defense mechanisms are necessary when it is too painful, but the bad thing is that if the psychological defense mechanism distorts the facts too much, it will bring out more psychological problems, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, social anxiety disorder, multiple personality, and even schizophrenia.
There is only one way to truly reach health - face pain. People who face pain will get many unexpected gains from pain, and they will eventually become the life wealth of the person involved. Planning and utilizing existing capabilities is far more important than tapping the so-called potential. ”
Remember: Shadows are like light, and they are wealth in life.
The most important psychological rule is that no matter how painful it is, you cannot escape it. You can only face it bravely, resolve it, surpass it, and finally reach a reconciliation with it. If you are temporarily lacking in strength, you can find help, seek help from relatives and friends, or find professional help to let someone you trust accompany you to face these painful things.
American psychologist Rogers was once the loneliest person, but when he faced this fact and resolved it, he became a true master of interpersonal relationships; American psychologist Frank (see this newspaper's "Every ordeal is the Wealth of Life" on January 7) had a violent and alcoholic stepfather and a bad mother, but when he challenged this fact and finally forgave his parents from his heart, he became an expert in treating this problem; Japanese psychologist Masama Morita was a serious neurotic patient, but by challenging this fact, he eventually invented Morita's therapy... The most painful facts in their lives eventually became their most important wealth. You can do the same.
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